Monday, Feb. 11, 2002 -- 8:40 p.m.

It's strange how one person can become such a huge part of your life... and then not.

I have a bad track record in terms of length of relatioships with friends. I am a serial bestfriender. As with everything I blame my parents. If they had only let me play with others more as a child instead of confining me to my house to practise piano, perhaps I wouldn't be the maladjusted socially retarded person I am today.

The furthest back example I can think of is Dave, Bill and Tricia. This was in grade 8 and these were the cool kids. We would go to the mall every lunch and loiter and I got invited to all the "cool" parties where there would be drugs and alcohol. Maybe I just have a really skewed view of my childhood but I remember these times as good. I was such a loner from all my childhood up to this point.

We stopped talking when we got to highschool. Dave moved to another province and Bill got TOO cool I suppose and Tricia... dunno.

There was this cute white guy in grade 9, but I can't remember his fucking name!!! He took the same school bus as me and he didn't really know anybody at our highschool because he had gone to a private school. He lived in a huge house with a bathroom in each bedroom and secret passageways all over the place. He had a pool and a trampoline that we would jump on for hours, in the back yard.I remember wishing I lived there. I began to think he was no fun so we stopped being friends.

Joe (Korean) when I was in grade 11. I had known him since I was in kindergarten, although not well. I thought I was so cool to be best friends with this cute guy who was in second year university. I spent time with him almost every day and we had a lot of fun. I'm not sure why but I stopped seeing him when I got to grade 12. We stayed on good terms but just grew further and further apart. I really don't remember why. Maybe because he needs braces.

Ian (Korean) when I was in grade 12. I had known Ian since I was about seven or so and he even went to my highschool but I never became friends with him until the summer before I started grade 12 and he started OAC. I liked hanging out with Ian a lot although I started hanging out with his little sister even more than I hung out with him. I think it was mainly because she would do whatever I wanted and she was always available to hang out. She was in grade 9 at the time but I didn't care. I was even invited over to their house for thanksgiving dinner and I was invited to their cousin's wedding. I saw at least one of them every day for a few months. And then, one day, I wanted to see how Long I could go without going over to their house. Twisted eh? The length of time just grew until it was never.

Thomas (Korean), was the summer I was going into grade 12. He was in second year at UWO. I realise now how gross that is. I mean, yes my current boyfriend is 8 years older than me but a university student should not date a highschool student regardless of age difference. But at the time I thought he was so hot and easy to talk to. We dated for a bit. He dumped his girlfriend while with me. I wouldn't fuck him, we stopped seeing each other.

Jun (Korean), when I was in OAC and he was in first year university. We dated for a bit, I liked the fact that he lived in residence and I could visit whenever. It was like being at camp (which I have Never been to). He was a PK (preacher's kid) which definitely should have been more of a deterrant but he was cute and I was blinded by the residence fun possibilities (which never did come to fruition because Jun was an anti-social nerd who never left his room). Oh yeah, and he lived on the no-alcohol floor. Need I say more? Ok, here's a little more, he tried to tell me that he had never masturbated in his entire life. If thats true... than he's sad and sick, if it's not true... than he's a lier.

Louis (Korean), when I was in OAC. Wierdo. He was catholic. That should have been a warning right away. We dated. My mom liked him because he could speak Korean. He said he loved me. I never said it back. He said he wanted to marry me. I never said it back. He bought me things. He begged me to give him a blow job and I did. I was fantastic but he smelled. He begged me to have sex with him and to my neverending chagrin I did. It sucked. He sucked.

Anna (korean), I knew for a long time. She's the same age as me and she went to the same church as me so I've known her since I was around 6 but we were never good friends until after we took music harmony together. Even though we went to different schools we saw each other almost every day for lunch. She is the friend that stopped my serial bestfriending.

I'm still best friends with Anna although she now goes to the University of Toronto and I barely ever see her. Oh yeah, and I was a little mad when I found out that she dated my ex-boyfriend Louis last year. He also lives in toronto and they got together. I got over it. He dumped her right away, which makes me feel better.

With all these people, I thought that I could not live life without them. But Obviously I can, and I am. Even Anna, who I barely ever see because she lives in Toronto.

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