2002-01-09 -- 10:31 a.m.

It's 10:31 in the morning, way too early for me to be up considering I have class at 4pm. Some friend of my dad's came over at about 10. This really LOUD 50something Korean man.

I can't really tell if he's yelling because he's mad at my dad or if he's just a really loud talker. It's making me uncomfortable hearing his loud loud loud talking.

I can barely hear my dad talking. He usually speaks pretty quietly and compared to this asshole he is barely audible. I don't know what they're talking about because they're speaking in Korean. STOP FUCKING YELLING YOU FUCkING AssHOLE.

Now I think he's mad. It's not like he's just speaking with more volume, he's speaking briskly, as if he were mad, and he RAISES his voice periodically to an even more unacceptable decibal level.

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE GET OUT OF MY HOUSE GET OUT OF MY HOUSE GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FUCkING ASSHOLE!

For all I know, he could be pissed off at my dad and that's why he's talking so robustly, but I don't care, I want him OUT.

I closed my door and now it's a little quieter.

It was wierd. I was listening to my parents talk to each other this morning and they actually were being civil to one another. It's been like that lately. When I was younger, everytime I heard them talk to each other it was in anger. They didn't seem to get along ever. I even remember that my dad would leave the house once in a while but always seemed to come back soon after.

When they were fighting, sometimes my sister and I would go to one of our rooms or to the bathroom and just cry and pray that they didn't get a divorce. I really don't think they LOVE each other and that is sad. I don't want to be like that. I want to marry and stay married because I am in passionate, and logical, love with my husband.

I sometimes wonder if my dad married my mom for money. I know that my mom's parents were quite wealthy while my dad's parents were quite poor. They met each other at church through a mutual friend.

My mom's father, my grandfather, had been from North Korea and he was visiting South Korea when the war broke out so he couldn't return there to North Korea (and still, if he were alive, he would not be able to return to that communist country). In North Korea, he left behind his wife and his three (?) sons and he never saw them again. Eventually, he met my grandmother whom he married and had five daughters (My mother is the second oldest daughter) and one son. At first they were very very poor but somehow they managed to accumulate a great fortune and owned clothes factories and a farm. One day, they decided to move to Canada (I'm not sure why) and so they did.

My grandfather died when I was six or something, and my grandmother is stil alive.

My dad's father died when my dad was young so his mother raised him alone. He has older sister and one older brother whom he never sees because they live in Korea and he says they ask him for money. His mother died a few years ago (three?) of vaginal cancer.

Anyway, my parents were never the type of parents who held hands and kissed each other and stuff (I'm going to be that kind of couple with my husband), and they still aren't but at least now they're nice to one another.

You know what I don't like? (well obviously you don't). I don't like diaries where the person gives their diary url to their friends. It's going to make the diary less truthful, I believe, even if they go out of their way to try to be honest, their friends knowing about the diary will affect content. I especially hate when some of the entry is directed at a friend, where they are talking to that friend from within the diary.

Or when they write about some inside secret but won't tell us what that secret is, ie "Erin, I'm sorry about that birthday thing. Jen really ruined it for us eh?" (blah blah blah). Why put that there if he's not going to tell us what it means!?!?! argh.

Or, when people write "I had a TERRIBLE day today but I can't write about it" or some variation on that theme. Don't put anything then!

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