2001-11-26 -- 1:25 a.m.

I hate this feeling. Sometimes I get this crushing feeling in my heart and I hate it. It's not really physical, its mainly emotional.

Yesterday, I worked for my mom. Craig came to visit me at the mall because he needed to buy cards. He sat with me while I ate my lunch (pizza). He wouldn't kiss me when he left, i think because I have a cold. My heart hurt.

He came to pick me up from home at 6pm to go to a concert in Kitchener/waterloo. We were supposed to meet his friends at some hotel for dinner at 7pm but we got there at about 7:30pm. We had a great talk on the ride there, about religion and life and stuff.

At the restaurant, his friends were really nice. I had linguini alfredo and greek salad for dinner, it came to $15 and it wasn't very good. Craig had prime rib and ceasar salad and the others had appetizers like pizza, oh yeah and one guy got a panzerotti.

Craig paid for my ticket to the concert, it was $21. I told him i'd pay him back. I probably will. The concert was really great, it was the Watchmen. My feet hurt because I was wearing my highheeled boots, not smart, but sexy and height enhancing.

I met craig's work buddy Ken. He was really nice. We talked for a bit and he told me he has been married for a little over a year now and he is 29 years old.

After the concert it was raining and cold. My feet hurt so Craig gave me a piggy back ride for a bit of the walk but then I got uncomfortable and made him put me down.

On the way back home, I got mad at Craig. Somehow we got onto the topic of marriage, actually I started it by asking Craig about when his siblings got married and then he started talking about their weddings and I asked him about his wedding. It really made my heart hurt.

Just that he must have loved this girl soo much to marry her. He spent several years (7?) with her. I said that it would have been worse having a divorce if they had had kids and Craig started saying something about how that was definitely not.. and then he stopped. I really wanted to know what else he had to say but he wouldn't and I didn't push.

I was kind of upset so I said in a rather bitter tone "I think marriage is overrated" and he didn't respond. I didn't say anything else for a while.

When I got home I just gave him a peck on the mouth and said thanks for the ride and got out.

I called him before I left this morning for toronto. We had a stupid short talk that made me wish I hadn't called him.

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